I'll Be Home for Christmas

from A Dysfunctional Christmas With Mammy Tornado by MAMMY TORNADO

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All Lyrics Copyright 2012 / Mammy Tornado
www.TornadoFamilyValues.com

lyrics

SPOKEN INTRO: ANOTHER YEAR HAS COME AND GONE, IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN. I CAN’T WAIT TO EXCHANGE GIFTS. EVEN THOUGH I GET THE SAME THING EVERY FRIGGIN’ YEAR. YANKEE CANDLES, INCENSE, FEBREEZE, SOAPS AND DEODERANTS. AHH THAT TREE IS LOOKING PRETTY DRY. IT’S GONNA BE A REAL BITCH FOR SOMEBODY TO CLEAN UP. MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY THE PEACE AND QUIET BEFORE EVERYONE WAKES UP. THIS PLACE CAN GET PRETTY CRAZY WITH CHRIS BEING SO HORNY, TAMMY BEING LEZZY, CLIVE BEING SHADY, HAL BATTLING SEASONAL DEPRESSION, GRANDMA BEING DRUNK AND ME I’M STARVING! BUT THERE’S NO PLACE IN THE WORLD I’D RATHER BE. HEY, WHO FARTED?

I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
SITTING ON THE COUCH
WATCHING THE TUBE, FOOD CRUMBS ON MY BOOBS
SAME THING DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

CHRISTMAS EVE YOU’LL FIND ME
MUNCHING ON SOME SWEETS
I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
RECLINED WITH SWOLLEN FEET

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ARE SO CHEERY
UNTIL THEY BLOW A FRIGGIN’ FUSE
THE LIGHTS ALL GO OUT THEN WE PANIC AND SHOUT
GET THAT FRIDGE BACK ON DON’T WASTE MY FOOD!

I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
WHILE MY CHILDREN GO OUT TO PLAY
CHRIS WILL DRUG YOUR DRINKS, TAMMY’S FINGERS WILL STINK
BEFORE NIGHTS END WE’LL ALL GET LAID--------

credits

from A Dysfunctional Christmas With Mammy Tornado, track released November 19, 2012

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about

MAMMY TORNADO Chelmsford, Massachusetts

I'm often told I have the face of a movie star, the body of goddess and the voice of an angel. I started off singing on youtube, but the people demanded more. So I decided to give them what they've been yearning for - A Very Dysfunctional Christmas...with me! Mammy Tornado! www.youtube.com/mammytornado ... more